Striking Your Balance

We are busy people. Between our many demands -- pursuing careers, getting food on the table, running a household, raising children, volunteering -- we may put ourselves last.  Stress creeps in.  Relationships suffer.  We eat on the run. We gain a few pounds here, a few pounds there.  Maybe we exercise excessively, perhaps not at all.  Yikes!  How do we make the most of our time, along the journey, without losing sight of ourselves on the way?    Take a moment and think about where you could use some boundaries in your life. For example, if you find yourself staying later and later at the office, do you need to tell your boss that you don’t work past 6pm?  Do you and your spouse live together but haven’t had a date in months?  Maybe you need to establish a boundary that says you will make time every week to spend together.   Examine your definition of “balance.”  Balance is “a state of equilibrium,” “a harmonious or satisfying arrangement or proportion of parts or elements,” or “a stable mental or psychological state; emotional stability.”  If you see balance as equivalent effort and time spent in all the aspects of your life (career, home and family, social life, diet, sleep, activity, etc.), your equation may run amok!  I prefer the “harmonious arrangement” definition of balance for my life, in which flexibility is inherent in the term.  I am always moving towards balance, and some days it comes easily while on others it is more of a struggle.  What do you do in those episodes of struggle?  Look for the good: acknowledge your limitations and give yourself the grace to move forward, knowing life is a journey and adventure and that each day is another opportunity.   On a scale of 1 to 10, consider how satisfied you are in the following areas of your life:

• Physical activity    
  
• Home cooked meals         
  
• Health and wellness         
  
• Creativity     
  
• Spirituality      
  
• Relationships, home and family      
  
• Social life
  
• Career
  
• Self-care     
  
• Finances   

Which areas are your strengths?  In which areas would you like to become more fulfilled?  Use this to guide you towards the balance that is best for you.  Make sure the balance you strike suits YOU, not your boss, and not how you THINK it should look.  What works for the Joneses may not be for you!  Honor yourself, set boundaries, and find how more centered and relaxed you’ll become. 

In praise of you

Almost all of us have a distorted image of our body, often due to the importance our culture places on outward appearance and the onslaught of media images of airbrushed models and celebrities. On a daily basis, we talk to ourselves in ways we would never speak to another. Imagine speaking to a child the way you speak to yourself about your body. It would devastate and stifle a child. It affects you similarly, causing stress and emotional pain in your body, which can make improving your health or losing weight even more difficult.

 

Think of all the intelligence, creativity and time you spend on improving, altering and judging your appearance. Who would you be and what could you accomplish if your valuable resources weren't used this way? Constant emphasis on the external makes us discount the great presence and intelligence that is housed by the body. It makes us forget the magic of our internal rhythms and fail to acknowledge the beautiful bodies we have.

 

The body you have right now is incredible! It never misses a heartbeat, it maintains homeostasis and it miraculously digests whatever you put in it. It is your instrument for expressing your creativity, intelligence and love. By focusing on the 1% you don't like or wish were different, you may be ignoring the remaining 99% about your body that is beautiful, unique and delightful.

What would your life be like if you were simply at peace with the body you have? You may wish to make your body healthier and stronger, but could you do that out of love and respect for your body instead of the opposite? Could you begin to treat yourself with kindness, to limit the negative self-talk and to reconnect with your inner wisdom? Take a minute to imagine what that would feel like. It would mean celebrating your body rather than punishing it. It would mean nourishing your body rather than depriving it. It would mean a chance to watch your body flourish when treated with care and respect.